The Ultimate Konoha Idol!
by Silver Tru-Neko
Summary: Our favorite genin teams have a week off, and so their Masters have a great idea: start their own Konoha Idol show! Unfortunately, they have no idea of the randomness in store...
1. A Brilliant Idea!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto or any Idol show.

Neko: So, this is our random Naruto Idol story! Hope you like it!

Tru: We hold no responsibilty for mental scarring, or spontaneous combustion of your brain. Enjoy :P

**

**CHAPTER 1: A Brilliant Idea!**

It was a normal day in Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The sun shone brightly down on the bustling village, citizens and ninja alike. The spring morning was warm and clear, not a cloud to be seen in the sky. The four youngest genin teams had a week's well-deserved break from missions, and so they took this day off to train.

All in all, according to one particular junior ninja, it was a very boring day.

"I'm _bored_!" whined Naruto for what must have been the 100th time that morning, trudging along with his team to their favorite training ground.

"We know," groaned Sakura, resisting an urge to hit her idiot teammate over the head. "Can't you shut your overlarge mouth for _one minute_?"

"Nope!" Naruto declared happily, doing a skip and tripping over a stone in the process.

"Dunce," muttered Sasuke, the third member of the cell, with a roll of his eyes as the team continued ahead.

"Hey! Wait up!" Naruto shouted after them, scrambling to his feet.

*

A few minutes later, the ninja team arrived at the training ground to see it was already in use.

"Hey!" Naruto complained, having eventually caught up to his team. He pointed to the three ninja already practicing. "What are _they_ doing here?"  
The two ninja who had been dueling looked up. "I was about to ask the same thing!" growled Kiba.

"Arf!" agreed Akamaru, his loyal dog.

Shino, his opponent, said nothing, as usual.

"Oh…h-hi, N-n-naruto," stuttered Hinata, who had been watching her friends practice. She immediately flushed and looked at her feet.

"Hi, Hinata," Naruto consented, before returning his attention to Kiba. "We're here to train, so you'd better move out."

Kiba snorted. "We were here first! Go find somewhere else to play."

"Why you-" Naruto growled, balling his fists. As he took a step forward Sakura hit him over the head.

"Stop making things worse!" she yelled at him. Naruto shrank back; Sakura had a scary temper. Taking a deep breath, Sakura pasted on a smile and turned to face the other team. "Now, there must be some way we can work this out…" The dangerous glint in her eye remained, warning, _You'll let us train or else!_

Kiba was about to reply when a singsong voice called from the bushes, "Ahoy my youthful friends! Today seems to have brought out the youth in us all!"

The two teams momentarily forgot their feud. Kiba blanched; Akamaru cowered behind him and let out a low whine. Naruto moaned, "Not Bushy-Brow!"

A freak, sorry, _boy_ in green spandex sauntered into view, his bowl-cut black hair shining in the sunlight. He smiled, and his pure-white teeth flashed blindingly. "My youthful friends! Why, it seems the youthful think alike on this day! We have all come to train…together!"

Kiba coughed. "No, actually we were just…leaving?" he ended waveringly as Lee embraced him round the shoulders.

"What a brilliant idea! We shall train TOGETHER! And the youthfulness in our hearts will SHINE!" He smiled as if to demonstrate this, and Kiba saw spots for a moment until Lee retreated from his face.

"Lee!" called a new voice. "Stop scaring the kiddies!"

Tenten, Lee's teammate, stood at the edge of the clearing with her arms crossed. Neji appeared reluctantly by her side a moment later.

The other two teams were so relieved to see Lee put distance between them that they almost forgot what Tenten had said. After a moment's processing, Naruto turned to her angrily.

"Hey, we're not kids-"

"We're only a year younger than you!" interrupted Kiba.

"Whatever," said Tenten. "We're here to train. We're still older than you, so that gives us superiority. Get lost."

Kiba and Naruto snapped at this; before they could charge, however, Hinata and Shino leaped on Kiba, and Sakura tackled Naruto while Sasuke stepped in front of him. Naturally Kiba and Naruto started thrashing, attempting to throw off their teammates. Doing so, Kiba accidentally body-checked Hinata, who flew into Naruto, who then stumbled and tripped up Shino and Kiba.

With a couple of shrieks and yells, they all toppled over onto Sasuke, forming a huge dog pile. Akamaru alone was unharmed; he sat beside the struggling mass of genin, tail thumping and tongue lolling in amusement.

Tenten, Lee, and Neji stared open-mouthed in shock at the whole scenario, which had taken less than five seconds to unfold. Well, Tenten and Lee were openmouthed; Neji just kind of stared impassively.

As the younger genin tried to fight their way free of the tangle obliviously, footsteps could be heard coming down the path. A moment later, Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino appeared in the clearing.

"…"

There was silence for a few seconds; then Ino ran toward the pile, screaming, "You're crushing poor Sasuke!" She tried to shove aside the mass of limbs on top of her beloved crush, but unfortunately this did not go without protest. An elbow to the knee and Ino was suddenly a part of the struggling mass.

"I'll help!" cried Choji, and with a mighty leap he landed on top of everyone. There came a groan and a few shouts of "Get off you idiot!" from below, before the whole pile continued to shove for freedom or just to push off Choji's weight.

Shikamaru sighed. "How troublesome."

*

Meanwhile, four jonin were relaxing in their tower, enjoying the rare free time they had with no duties, training, or missions.

"I wonder how the genin are faring without us," commented Kurenai, leader of team eight (which consisted of Kiba, Hinata, and Shino).

"They are rejoicing in their YOUTHFULNESS!" cried Master Guy (it should be obvious which team is in his charge).

"Hn," said Kakashi, absorbed in his book.

"The break must be good for them, after all their work for the chunin exams," observed Kurenai.

"They have been training very hard lately," concurred Asuma, exhaling a cloud of cigarette smoke. He was commander of cell ten (Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji).

"They have all developed so much from when they left the Academy," continued Kurenai. "The improvement in their ninja skills is amazing."

Kakashi finally glanced up from his book. "What are you getting at, Kurenai?"

The female ninja leaned back against her chair, frowning slightly. "Well…lately I believe all of our training has focused on our students' ninja abilities: taijutsu, ninjustsu, and the like…"

"And?" Asuma raised an eyebrow.

"There are other skills, life skills, that they need to learn as well, if they wish to succeed as ninja," she said. "With my team, I made sure to emphasize teamwork and friendship – as well as my students' individual abilities - from the beginning. I want my students to become not only strong shinobi, but well-rounded individuals."

"Those skills do have importance," Kakashi nodded. "But why bring this up now?"

"All of our students have been granted the week off by the Hokage, correct?" Kurenai glanced around at the others, who all nodded. "I was thinking…perhaps we should do a joint training exercise which has nothing to do with ninja ability. Just for something different…to see what other skills they may have."

Asuma stroked his beard. "Very interesting idea, Kurenai."

Guy leaped to his feet. "My students are, of course, the most youthful! Their youthfulness will shine as a beacon for the others to follow!"

"Are you saying your students are better than ours?" Kakashi asked mildly.

"But of course they are! They are YOUTHFUL! And I lead the competition 50-49," he winked.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said, "I must not have heard you correctly. Team Seven is obviously superior to yours. Did you not see Naruto defeat Neji during the chunin exams?"

"Touché," said Guy, deflating. "50-50."

Kurenai quickly stood between the two quarreling ninjas. "Alright, you two, stop it. Kakashi, must I remind you this isn't about our students' fighting abilities. It's different."

"But it is still a competition!" Guy proclaimed with the blaze back in his eyes. "That my team shall surely win, as we always have!"

Kakashi smirked, although this was unseen by the others due to his mask. "Don't underestimate Team Seven. We still have quite a few surprises up our sleeves."

"And don't forget Team Ten!" Asuma jumped to his feet. "I am confident in their abilities to give you two a run for your money!"

Kurenai watched helplessly as the males all glared at each other.

"I told you-" she began again, but this time Guy interrupted.

"Tell us the nature of this competition, so that my team may win it!"

"But-"

"Team Seven won't back down so easily."

"Team Ten will be there."

Three determined gazes stared her down.

Kurenai threw up her hands. "All right! Calm down! We'll have teams Seven, Eight, Guy, and Ten competing against each other…"

She paused, seeing the competitive glares exchanged. _Boys,_ she thought with an inward roll of her eyes.

"…in a singing competition."

**

Dun dun dun! Please review!


	2. Explanations

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

Neko: The contest finally is revealed!

**

**CHAPTER 2: Explanations**

"Couldn't it be a youthfulness competition instead?" asked…well, you can guess.

"So you admit that your students have no talent whatsoever in the singing department," said Kakashi triumphantly.

"You'd have to show me proof," countered Guy, "that Naruto can sing in public before you can go around saying that."

"Oh yeah? My team will triumph over all of you!!" Asuma stood up.

"CAN CHOJI EVEN SING?" demanded Kakashi and Guy at the same time.

"Hey! No sharigan allowed!" said Guy.

"There was no sharigan! See, my headband is still across my eye!"

"So? You could've just pulled it back down with lightning speed!"

Kurenai was getting annoyed at them. "Okay, for your little competition against each other, this whole thing is a tie."

"I don't care about it!" protested Kakashi. "It's Guy who is crazy enough to keep track of these types of things!"

"You call it crazy," said Guy. "I call it keeping in touch with my youth!"

"Well, I'M manly," replied Asuma.

"Says the guy who took his cell out to eat while my cell was training," pointed out Kurenai.

"HEY!" shouted Asuma. "How did you know?"

"It was in book 4. Around the same time Naruto was playing with random little kids, one of which was the Hokage's grandson, and then the Sand ninja appeared."

"WHAT?!?" cried Kakashi. "He was supposed to be TRAINING!!! No more ramen for him!"

"My pupils always train," said Guy pointedly. "The score is 51-50, for Youthful Me."

"Sorry, did you say something?" asked Kakashi, feigning ignorance.

"Fine. 51-51. May the most youthful man win!"

"No!" said Asuma. "May the most manly man win!"

The score is now 51-51-0, in favor of youthfulness!!!!"

"ARE YOU GUYS DRUNK?!?!?" yelled Kurenai. "I tell you my wonderful idea, and you're discussing if youthfulness or manliness is better!"

"Youthfulness!"

"Manliness!"

"How many votes you get in the popularity list!"

"The best singer!"

Guess who said what.

*

In their training ground, everyone was still in the pile while Shikamaru watched in annoyance.

"Can't you learn how to share?" he commented.

Naruto was asking a different question.

"Why…do…fat…people have…to be…so…heavy?" asked Naruto from directly under Choji's head.

"Naruto, no!" warned Hinata, but she was too late.

Choji did his best to glare at the nearest person, who happened to be Hinata.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" demanded Choji.

"N-nothing!" stuttered Hinata. "I was just w-warning N-n-naruto not to say what he said!"

"AND WHAT DID HE SAY!?!"

Naruto glared at Choji.

"What did…I…say? Why, I asked…why fat people-"

"FAT PEOPLE!? I'M NOT FAT!! I'M-"

Choji then blew up. Or rather, expanded. "PLEASANTLY PLUMP!!!!!!!"

This caused even more pressure on everybody in the pile.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," grrred Kiba.

"It feels like a giant cockroach sat on us," commented Shino.

"NOW I'M A COCKROACH!?!? I AM SO INSULTED!!! IF WE WEREN'T IN THIS PILE, I'D SQUISH YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Shikamaru sighed. Suddenly he grinned. He walked into the now empty training ground and began practicing his shadow techniques.

*

Kurenai had somehow managed to get the other masters calmed down.

It had not been an easy task. After a very long discussion about youthfulness and manliness, she had threatened to force them to baby-sit Konohamaru (the Third Hokage's grandson) for a week. As none of them were looking forward to that, the masters had immediately stopped their argument.

"May I start explaining my idea now?" Kurenai began.

The others nodded.

"Okay, so I watched this show called 'American Idol' last night," she began.

"Not in front of your cell, I hope," said Guy. "I don't go around showing my cell random shows, especially before watching them. In fact, I don't read any inappropriate novels in front of them either, unlike Kakashi, who reads Make Out Paradise/Violence in full view of his cell when it is clearly an-"

"I thought we talked about that already," warned Kurenai.

"-adult novel, so if Naruto got curious and snuck up behind Kakashi-"

"I'm warning you-"

"-he would he reading inappropriate content! Now even if he was in a battle with ninja assassins-"

"DO YOU WANT TO BABY-SIT FOR A MONTH?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?"

Guy was silent.

"So, anyway, I was watching this show _after _everyone was asleep. I was very bored, you see. On this show, there were contestants who sang. Three judges evaluated these contestants' talent, or lack of thereof. One contestant was eliminated. There are several rounds of this, each round on an episode. The last person on the show is the American Idol.

"After watching this show, I had the idea that Konoha should host some kind of competition like that. We could be the judges, and our cell members the competitors. Basically, the only rule is that you can't kill each other. You are allowed to ambush each other, or get outside help, but no death or serious injury."

"Works for me," replied Kakashi.

"Is part of the judging on looks?" asked Guy.

"One more thing," Kurenai added. "You can't just stand there singing. You have to dance, too. And we need an announcer. What about Master Iruka?"

"I'm better looking!" protested Guy. "And more youthful, too!"

"No," countered Kakashi. "Just no."

Kurenai sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

**

Please review! Maybe next chapter they'll actually start singing :P


	3. Grammar Lesson!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 3: Grammar Lesson!**

A few hours later, the pile of genin finally managed to untangle themselves. They all got to their feet, some blushing furiously while others drifted subconsciously away. Kiba made sure to punch Naruto in the head, yelling, "This was all your fault, idiot!"

Shikamaru and Neji looked up from their game of chess (hey, they were bored!).

"About time," yawned Shikamaru.

Tenten glanced at her watch. "Well done! You were tangled up for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds – must be a world record."

"Ha ha," said Sasuke, folding his arms. He looked rather squished…like a pancake. That's what happens when you have seven people on top of you for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds.

"I'm hungry," said Choji, "what's for lunch?"

"Come to think of it," said Ino, "I'm hungry too. Will you take me out to lunch, Sasuke?"

"No," shot Sakura, "Sasuke's mine!"

Naruto's stomach growled.

"I'm even hungrier than when Kakashi tied me to that tree stump! I could devour a bowl of medium-sized ramen right now! Hey, I'd even devour a large size and still be hungry! Only a supersize would be yummy yummy in my tummy!"

"SUPERSIZE!!" screamed Choji, momentarily forgetting how hungry he was. "HE'S STILL AT IT!!!"

"We can go out together, my angel," sighed Lee girlishly at…you decide.

"I want ramen to be in my hungry tummy," said Naruto.

"No," said a new voice.

"Master Iruka!" gasped Team Seven.

"Can we have ramen?" asked Naruto.

"You can," said Iruka, "but I won't let you."

"Huh?" wondered Naruto.

"Typical!" sighed Sakura. "Let me explain this to you. Repeat it to yourself, and eventually it should start making sense. The phrase 'Can I eat ramen?' would grammatically be asking if you are physically able to eat ramen. If Iruka had replied 'Yes, you can', it would mean you are physically able to eat ramen, but it does not necessarily mean that you are granted permission to eat ramen."

"But since I said 'I won't let you'," added Iruka, "I will not take you out for ramen."

Naruto did not process any of this information, except for the part about not being allowed to eat ramen.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," he sulked.

"Can _I_ have ramen?" asked Choji.

"What did I _JUST_ say?!" asked Sakura.

"Sorry."

"None of you will have ramen!" said Iruka.

"WHY?"

"You were here for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds, and none of it was actually spent training. Can't you learn how to share? Instead of arguing who had the right to train here, you could have all trained at the same time."

"Exactly!" said Lee happily.

"I wouldn't be happy if I were you. In fact, I would be ashamed! Spending three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds tangled up! At least you had the sense to practice your techniques, Shikamaru."

"Thanks," he replied. "How did you know that?"

"I read this story. However, Shikamaru, you trained in front of your helpless teammates, not to mention the other teams! You should be ashamed of yourself, Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru gaped at him a moment, before deciding this conversation was too troublesome and wandered off into a corner of his mind to sulk.

"Tenten, Neji, Lee, Shikamaru…EVERYONE! I am very disappointed in you. You four did not help the others when they were tangled up. The rest of you, well, you should be better ninja than that."

"Are you done yet?" asked Naruto, who hadn't really been listening.

Iruka sighed and anime-sweatdropped. "Ignoring Naruto, let's move on."

Now the genin noticed the appearance of their masters.

"Master Kakashi!" cried Naruto and Sakura (Sasuke was too cool to show surprise).

"Master Guy!" shouted Lee, rushing toward the green spandex-clad master to hug him. Neji and Tenten just exchanged glances.

"Master Asuma!" gasped Ino and Choji (Shikamaru had fallen asleep on his feet).

"Master Kurenai!" greeted Hinata, Shino, and Kiba. Akamaru barked happily.

Kurenai cleared her throat. "Everyone, we have an announcement. LISTEN UP!!!"

At this, Shikamaru jerked awake, Lee and Guy fell down, and Naruto let out a girly scream.

The ninja covered their ears, wincing. A few moments later, the ninjas-in-training were all seated on the grass, staring curiously up at their masters.

"For the next week, we have decided that you all will be taking part in a competition-"

"My YOUTHFULNESS will win!" cried Lee excitedly. Kurenai sighed. She could see the resemblance.

"As I was saying, you will be competing against each other, with us and Master Iruka supervising. The competition is no other than…Konoha Idol!"

"…"

The ninja students were in shock.

"You mean…we have to sing?" asked Naruto blankly.

Kurenai clapped her hands together. "Exactly! Just like on American Idol. There will be three outside judges. We will be testing your skills other than ninja abilities. So have fun!"

Iruka quickly stepped up. "A couple of rules: for this first round, everyone must prepare a singing-and-dancing routine set to a song of your choice which you can relate to yourself in some way, shape, or form. You will be presenting them tomorrow morning in front of the panel. You may get outside help, or use any techniques or props you have to enhance your performance. The only thing you cannot do is kill each other, all right? We don't want to get sued."

"…"

Once again, the words were met with silence.

Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing.

"Someone…pinch me," he gasped, rolling around on the ground. He giggled. "Oh, this can't be real…a SINGING contest. Hee hee…" He couldn't imagine his fellow ninja singing.

Sasuke gleefully pinched Naruto, who jumped about ten feet in the air with a girly shriek. Again everyone covered their ears.

"You told me to pinch you," Sasuke pointed out calmly. Behind his cool emo exterior, he was laughing maniacally.

"Any questions? Otherwise, you are dismissed," said Iruka.

"Is this obligatory?" asked Neji.

"Yes."

There was an explosion of noise at this.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE HAVE TO DO THIS??!" demanded Kiba.

"ARF! ARF ARF!" agreed Akamaru.

"I can't sing!" cried Choji. "This is not fair!"

"I refuse to be brought to this level," growled Neji, crossing his arms.

"Unfortunately, the other masters are overly competitive and have forced you all into this first round," Iruka explained. "Take it up with them, not me."

"Come now, my youthful students! We shall plan our victory together!" said Guy brightly.

Lee leaped to his feet and followed Guy from the training ground, chattering on about what song he'd choose.

"There's this song I really enjoy, Master Guy, it is quite youthful! It goes like this: Boom Boom Boom Boom…" And he began to sing as he skipped away.

Neji and Tenten followed their sensei and comrade more slowly. Neji's face was creased with annoyance, while Tenten gave a rare smile.

"This will be so fun, won't it, Neji?" she said as they, too, left.

The rest of the teams slowly dispersed; Asuma gave his team a pep talk as they departed. Something about actually putting an effort into this contest. Shikamaru seemed half asleep again, Choji grumbled under his breath, and Ino was excited, like most of the other females.

"Maybe I'll get to hear Sasuke sing!" she gushed.

Kakashi was engrossed in his book as he ushered away a hyper Naruto, a confused Sakura, and a – wait, _cheerful_ Sasuke? What was up with that?

Kurenai watched the other teams leave, secretly checking them for signs of strength or weakness. She had never heard most of the young shinobi sing, but she had her suspicions. This contest had caught most of them off-guard; she noted the more enthusiastic ones, suspecting they had experience.

Kurenai finally turned to her own team, after Iruka left. Team Eight had been the first to arrive that morning, and now they were the last left.

"Listen up, team," she told them. "We're going to beat all the other teams and show up Masters Guy and Kakashi. Practice hard, choose a song you like, and don't lose confidence!"

"B-but-Master-" Hinata stuttered.

Kurenai put a hand on the shy girl's shoulder. "Hinata, I have a few suggestions for you…"

She whispered to Hinata for a moment, who turned pink and nodded. "Y-yes, Master."

"All right then," she finished, "you're dismissed."

Her team departed, and Kurenai watched them leave with a smile. She had confidence in her team to all choose wisely. After all, she had observed her students long enough to know their musical interests, and in which areas they were strong singers.

This was one contest Team Eight were sure to win!

**

Neko: The end is a bit random, I know. Does Kurenai have ulterior motives for choosing a singing contest? ^.^ The real idol begins next chapter, I promise!

Please review!


	4. The Contest Finally Begins!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, iTunes, or anything else mentioned in this chapter. So now that the competition *finally* starts, we'll be listing the songs used at the end of every chapter. We tried to use as wide of range of genres as we had access to, and that weren't already overused, so some songs may be unfamiliar. If you guys have any wsuggestions for songs to use later, feel free to share :)

**

**CHAPTER 4: The Contest Finally Begins!**

Early the next morning, Naruto woke up. He was super happy! The only thing that could make him happier was a bowl of ramen. The previous evening, he looked on iTunes and found an extremely cool song. In fact, it was so cool, he was singing it in his dream.

First he sang it in the competition and blew everyone else away. The judges – Iruka, Kakashi, and Sakura, who was in love with Naruto in the dream – loved it.

"And the winner is…Naruto!!" said Kurenai.

Then Naruto had become Hokage because everyone loved his singing. Sasuke had also been given the 'Most Uncool Person Alive' Oscar. Naruto had won the 'Most Cool Person Alive' Oscar. The rest of the dream seemed to be about Lee and Guy balancing bowls of ramen on their heads. Just before the dream finished, the Third Hokage taught Naruto the proper way to drink a cuppa tea.

Naruto was beaming with happiness as he poured his milk into his favorite glass. He ate his favorite cereal, Ramen Krispies (think Rice Krispies, only with cut up ramen noodles). Happily gobbling up his toast, he went out onto the streets on Konoha.

*

"His milk's expired."

Kurenai peered curiously at Naruto's milk carton.

Kakashi nodded. "He always drinks expired milk."

"Expired milk on competition day?"

"Yeah."

"Is he nuts?"

"Yeah."

"Is that the fourth Make Out Paradise novel you're reading?"

"Yeah."

"Will you keep saying that?"

"Yeah." Kakashi analyzed the situation. "You're spying on the competition, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"That's my line."

Kurenai got up and left Naruto's house.

*

Later that morning, the training ground where the pile incident had occurred was completely transformed.

Two of the three tree stumps were used to hold up a banner that read: "Konoha Idol!!" Nearby a table with three chairs was set up. Presumably this was the judges' table.

"I wonder who the outside judges are," wondered Naruto, walking around the show's grounds.

"I don't know," replied Sasuke, "and I don't really care, either. Whoever they are, even if they are extremely biased for you, I'm going to kick your butt."

"No!" said Naruto. "I will! I even foresaw that event in my dream! It was the competition-"

"Aha! Arguments!" said Lee. "A sure sign of youth! However, none of your will beat me and my youthfulness!"

Sakura was sitting nearby.

"It's 'my youthfulness and me!'" she muttered under her breath. "Whoever the judges are, I just hope that they consider the grammar of the song!"

Part of the training ground had been roped off to be a kind of stage. The ground was at a slightly higher level, making it ideal. Chairs had been set up around this 'stage', presumably for contestants to watch the auditions.

"I wonder if the Hokage will be there!" giggled Naruto. "I'll show him! My song will clearly show that I am the ideal candidate for being the Fifth Hokage!"

"Aren't you a little young?" asked Kakashi. "Besides, the ideal Hokage is someone who is an experienced shinobi, is able to make decisions that could determine the survival of the village, has extensive knowledge, values the village, and who the village can look to in times of peril. Not to mention someone who has leadership skills. Not one word of that concerns singing talent, which might actually be a blessing if you want to become Hokage, Naruto."

"But my song is all about being Hokage!"

"I assume it goes like this: 'I wanna be Hokage, yes I do, yes I do! I wanna be Hokage, and I will be!' All in a little kid's voice."

"I'm not a little kid! Besides, it's better than Lee's song! It's probably like this: Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthful, I am youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuthful!!!"

"Ookay."

"You won't say that after you hear my song, sung in such expertness-"

"MY SONG ISN'T ABOUT YOUTHFULNESS!!!!!!!" protested…you guess. "Okay, it is, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THE SONG!!"

"Ah-hem." Everyone glanced around to see Iruka had just arrived with the masters. Silence immediately fell over the clearing.

Iruka stepped onto the makeshift 'stage' and picked up the microphone. "All right, welcome, everyone, to the first-ever Konoha Idol competition! Today is our first round in which the judges will vote who goes on to the next part!"

"Where are the judges?" demanded Tenten.

"Well – they should be here in-"

Before Iruka could finish, there was a POOF and smoke engulfed the stage. Ino, Naruto, and Sakura screamed girlishly.

As soon as the smoke cleared, they could all see the three imposing ninja standing next to Iruka; Naruto let out a groan and Kiba complained, "Why are they here?"

"We're the judges, dummy," said the female ninja.

"Everyone, please give a hand for our judges: Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara!" Iruka announced.

"But… they're Sand Ninja!" shouted Kiba.

Gaara stepped to the edge of the stage. "Shut up now or I will kill you," he hissed. Everyone shut their mouths in fear for their lives.

A rather awkward moment of silence passed before Iruka cleared his throat. "Let's get started, shall we?"

The judges took their seats at the table, while the masters sat in the front row of chairs. The rest of the students filed to their places nervously.

"I can't believe the masters are letting them judge," Sakura whispered to her teammates, glancing anxiously at the Sand Ninja.

"The creep, the freak, and the fan girl," concurred Sasuke.

"Not to mention they might kill us if we sing badly," Naruto pointed out cheerfully.

Hinata paled. "T-they w-wouldn't r-r-really, w-would they, N-naruto?"

Sakura hit Naruto on the head again. "Idiot! Stop scaring her!"

*

Meanwhile, Iruka conferred with the judges. "So all you have to do is vote 'yes' or 'no' for each contestant," he explained. "It's really simple. Any questions?"

"Are we getting paid for this?" asked Kankuro.

"Um…" said Iruka, "I'll get back to you on that." He turned to the restless crowd and announced, "Well then! It's time for round one to officially begin! Who will go first?"

Master Guy jumped to his feet. "The most YOUTHFUL, of course!" he shouted.

Iruka blanched. "Well, um, actually we're just going to pick names from a hat…" Kurenai approached him with what looked suspiciously like the Hokage's hat. Iruka reached inside and pulled out a slip of paper. He read aloud, "And first up is… Aburame Shino!"

There were a couple scattered cheers, which faded as curious whispers broke out.

"What's he going to sing?" wondered Naruto as the bug expert shuffled to the stage in his typical long trench coat and sunglasses.

Temari took out a notepad and wrote down his name. "So, um, state what you'll be singing?"

"'I am a Rock' by Simon and Garfunkel," replied Shino.

"It's NOT about puppets?" exclaimed Kankuro. "That's a crime!"

"Not everyone here is obsessed with puppets, Kankuro," sighed Gaara.

"Excuse me," asked Temari, "but do we get drinks?"

"CAN WE START ALREADY??" shrieked Kurenai.

"No need to bust our eardrums," said Kankuro. "The bad singing will-"

Kurenai glared at him.

"I mean, we are the judges, and we need our lovely ears to listen to all the *ahem* wonderful singing!"

"I'm here," said Shino.

"Right," said Kurenai. "Can we start now?"

Everyone nodded and replied, "Yes."

"About my previous question…" asked Temari.

"Right," said Kurenai again, and went off to get some drinks. A few minutes later she came back. She handed Temari a can of Coke, Kankuro a 7-UP, and Gaara, Root Beer.

"Now can we _please _finally start?"

Everyone nodded again.

"A winter's day," began Shino, "in a deep and dark December…"

Sluuuuurp. Sluuuuuuurp.

"Don't slurp, dear," cautioned Kurenai, glaring at Kankuro.

"Oh," said Kankuro. "Sorry, ma'am."

"I am alone," continued Shino. "Gazing from my window, to the streets below-"

Naruto suddenly began laughing. Kiba punched him in the face.

"I am a rock! I am an island!" Shino continued, tapping his foot to the music. Around him, bugs were jumping and twirling to the music.

"I have walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate." Randomly he glared at Kankuro.

"What'd I do?" complained Kankuro.

"You slurped while he was singing, for one thing," pointed out Temari.

"I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain, it's laughter, and it's something I disdain!"

"This song isn't about Shino," argued Naruto. "Shouldn't it at least be about bugs?"

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO THE LYRICS, YOU IDIOT?!" screamed Sakura. "THE SONG DOESN'T HAVE TO RELATE TO HIM PHYSICALLY!!"

"Quiet!" said Gaara quietly. "Or I'll kill you!"

"Silence!" warned Kurenai. "If this keeps going on, I may have to fire you from your job as judges."

"Does that mean we are getting paid for this?" asked Kankuro.

"Continue like that," said Kurenai, "and you won't gain any benefits associated with this job, if there are any."

Kankuro kept his mouth shut after that. After all, it was a possibility they would give out free puppets.

Somehow Shino had finished the rest of his song without any further interruptions, from Kankuro or otherwise. He gave a small bow to the audience, and then walked coolly to the judges' table to hand in the mike.

It took the audience a few shocked seconds of silence to realize it was over; they began to clap hesitantly.

"I didn't know he could even talk, nevertheless sing!" commented Naruto.

"Yay! You have finally shown your YOUTHFULNESS!" exclaimed Lee.

"Well, I suppose we judge now," said Kankuro to his siblings. He turned the microphone back on, which emitted a loud screech. The audience of genin covered their ears and glared at him.

"Sorry!" Kankuro said, his voice amplified over the screeching mike. "But, at least I have your attention now."

"Kankuro," hissed Temari, "give me that!" She snatched the mike from him, which immediately stopped the noise.

"Ha! It doesn't like you!" snickered Naruto.

Temari cleared her throat. "Anyway, EVERYONE SHUT UP! That's better. Hey, Shino, I was wondering… why did you pick this song?"

Shino explained quietly, "I am a rock. I don't need anyone except for my bugs."

"…" The judges exchanged glances.

"Ookay…now for our votes on the first contestant, Aburame Shino." Temari paused. "I thought he gave a pretty good rendition of an old song."

She handed the mike to Kankuro, who thankfully did not put his fingers on the speaker this time, so he didn't bust the audience's ears. "It was okay," he shrugged.

"Boo!" Kiba yelled, while Akamaru howled.

Kankuro passed the mike to Gaara.

"He sucked," the creepy sand ninja said simply.

"WHAAAAAT!?" shouted Kiba. "I bet he did a better job than you ever could, you –"

"K-Kiba, s-sit down," stuttered Hinata nervously, as Gaara gave them a death glare.

"Shut up now, or I will kill you," he growled.

Iruka quickly stepped onstage. "Sorry, no killing. It's in the rules – the only rule, actually."

Gaara turned his icy blue (not green) gaze on the master. "I can do whatever I want."

"No, you can't," Iruka explained patiently. "Or I'll take it up with your master."

"He isn't here," said Kankuro.

"Then I'll fire you."

"Good," said Gaara, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. "I don't want to be in this stupid contest, anyway."

"GAARA!" Temari gasped, "Stop being so rude! Or I'll ground you for a month!"

"Hn," said Gaara, not caring.

"And I'll take away your allowance, too!"

Gaara thought for a moment. No allowance meant no money to buy cookies. No cookies meant sad Gaara.

"Fine." Gaara glared at Iruka. "I'll stay, for now."

Iruka sighed, glad that was over. "All right. Who's up next?" He drew a name from what was definitely the Hokage's hat. "Uchiha Sasuke! Come up here, please."

**

Please review!

Shino's song - "I Am A Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel


	5. Move Along, Sasuke

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 5: Move Along, Sasuke**

All the females in the audience went wild as Sasuke nonchalantly trudged onstage. He took the mike from Iruka.

"Yo," he muttered. "Look, if any of you losers try interrupting me like you did Shino, you'll pay." His red Sharingan eyes flashed menacingly. The fangirls quieted. "I'll sing Move Along by the All-American Rejects," he addressed the judges.

Loud drumming began; Temari squealed, "I love this song!"

Sasuke glared at her.

She hastily covered her mouth. "Um, oops?" she whispered.

Sakura and Ino had a dance-off contest at the foot of the stage, hoping Sasuke would notice their cool moves. However, the Uchiha simply stood in the middle of the stage, eyes closed, moving his head to the beat.

"Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking. When you fall, everyone sins. Another day and you've had your fill of sinking. With the life held in your hands are shaking cold; these hands are meant to hold…"

As the music reached a crescendo, Sasuke really got into it. He did a weird sort of shuffle dance as he sang, "When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do. And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through. Move along."

"Move along…" He reverted back to his slumped, bored posture for the next verse. However, by the end of the song, he was combining jutsu and dancing to perform random high kicks and such, and then walking on place for the chorus.

As he finished the last line, the crowd went wild. "I LOVE YOU SASUKE"s could be heard.

Sasuke just went to the judges, bored again.

"I absolutely loved it!" squealed Temari. "Can I have your autograph?!"

"No."

Kankuro grinned, "That was actually pretty good singing."

"Hn."

The fangirls growled at him.

Gaara glared at Sasuke. "I hate you."

"Hn." Sasuke glared back at him. Electricity seemed to shoot from their glares, until finally Iruka told Sasuke to get off the stage.

"Next up is…Nara Shikamaru!!"

Shikamaru climbed onstage.

"DON'T YOU DARE GET KICKED OFF!!" shouted Ino.

"What a pain in the neck," muttered Shikamaru.

"I'm hungry," said…you know. "Where's the snack bar?"

"IT'S SHIKAMARU'S SONG!" screamed Ino. "SHOW SOME LOYALTY!!!"

"Who was the one dancing off during Sasuke's song?" asked Shikamaru coolly.

Temari sipped her Coke. Gaara glared. Kankuro sulked.

"This show could not be more puppet-less," he sighed.

"Sooo," interrupted Temari, "what are you going to be singing?"

Shikamaru sighed. "This is so troublesome," he muttered. "I'm singing the 59th Avenue Bridge Song…or something like that."

"Never heard of it," said Kankuro. "Who's the artist?"

"Simon and Garfield."

"You mean Garfunkel?" asked Temari.

"Whatever."

Shikamaru shuffled to center stage with the mike, one hand in his pocket.

"Slow down, you move too fast," he began, for once not sounding grumpy. "You got to make the morning last. Just kickin' down the cobble stones. Looking for fun and feelin' groovy."

Naruto snickered at the thought of Shikamaru being groovy.

"Not again," groaned Kurenai.

"This is the second time in three songs you've laughed," hissed Iruka. "Both of them Simon and Garfunkel's songs. Just _what_ do you find funny about them?!?!" Iruka was trying his best to sound calm, but the look in his eyes was murderous. Iruka was a big fan of Simon and Garfunkel, you see.

"Nothing!" said Naruto. "It's just that it's so funny! Shino and Shikamaru singing? It's a riot!"

Fortunately all this happened at an interlude in the song, so Shikamaru hadn't missed much. All this time he had quietly said "Feeling groovy" in the background.

"Hello lamppost," he continued, "what cha knowin'? I've come to watch your flowers growin'. Ain't cha got no rhymes for me? Doo-doo doo-doo, Feelin' groovy."

"Puppets are groovy," said Kankuro.

"No they're not," countered Temari. "They are inanimate objects, and only respond to your chakra."

"Got no deeds to do," Shikamaru sung obliviously, "No promises to keep. I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep."

Ino, quickly analyzing the situation, ran onstage and held Shikamaru up so he wouldn't fall asleep.

"Let the morning time drop all its petals on me," yawned Shikamaru. "Life, I love you. All is groovy."

That was when Shikamaru fell asleep on the spot.

"That's ALL?" asked Tenten.

Guy was in tears.

"Ah, yes," sniffed Guy, "he has sprung up my inner youthfulness."

"Songs from the same artists," Sakura commented. "Is that allowed?"

"Of course," said Iruka. "They only had a day to prepare, so the contestants wouldn't know if someone else picked the same artist. The same song, on the other hand, would be harder to deal with…"

"Artists?" asked Naruto, confused. "What do paintings have to do with singing?"

"Not that kind of artist," sighed Sakura. "Artists, musically, are the people or group that sing songs. Both Shino and Shikamaru sung songs by Simon and Garfunkel! Even Iruka mentioned that indirectly eariler, though you were probably too caught up in your daydream about ramen to notice!"

"I wasn't daydreaming about ramen!" protested Naruto. "Speaking of ramen, I'm hungry!"

"Can we judge now?" asked Kankuro.

"Ahem," said Sakura.

"Huh?" asked Kankuro.

"Read this story, Chapter 3, Lines 50 to 53."

Kankuro stared at her like everyone was wearing pink ballet dresses.

"GRAMMAR LESSON!"

Sasuke sighed. He had been down this road before, and didn't like the scenery much the first time. The first time was actually kind of funny, because it was Naruto being picked on. Now it was all that sans Naruto, therefore taking all the fun out of it.

"Sasuke, calm down," said Kakashi. "No, wait, that was when we fought Zabuza."

"Who's Zabuza?" asked Kankuro.

"STOP ASKING!!IT'S OVERUSED!!" shouted Sakura. "YOU CAN DEMAND, PONDER, WONDER, JUST DON'T ASK!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Who's Zabuza?" Kankuro mused.

"Better," sighed Sakura.

"We should judge right now," said Iruka. "He's waking up."

Indeed, Shikamaru was awake.

"Why do people have to be so LOUD?!??!?!?!" groaned Shikamaru.

"For the last time, who's Zabuza?!" Kankuro practically yelled. Seeing as he was right next to Shikamaru's ear, this probably wasn't the best idea. Shikamaru clutched his head and glared at him.

"This is all just too troublesome," he muttered. "I forfeit!"

With that, he walked off the stage.

"…" The audience was in shock.

"You can't do that!" screeched Ino. "We need all of our team to pass! Right, Choji?"

"Mmph?" Choji looked up from his bag of chips. "Di' you say somphin', I'o?" he asked around a mouthful of chips.

"EEW!" Ino yelled, "Get away from me! That's just gross!"

As Ino proceeded to rant and scream, Choji ignored her and went back to eating chips. Shikamaru had already left the clearing, and Ino's voice carried to him.

"Meh," he said, shrugging. "How troublesome." He wasn't too concerned about what Ino would do to him when she found him, however, as a cloud drifting by distracted him.

"I envy the clouds…" he sighed.

**

Please review!

Sasuke - "Move Along", The All-American Rejects

Shikamaru - "59th Avenue Bridge Song", Simon and Garfunkel


	6. Yet Another Grammar Lesson

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 6: Yet Another Grammar Lesson**

After the riot Ino caused, Iruka grabbed the microphone and shouted, "Okay, everyone calm down! Since Shikamaru forfeited, our next contestant can sing!" He reached for the Hokage's hat.

"Wait!" Kankuro yelled.

Silence; Iruka turned to face the judge. "…Yes?"

"While everyone's listening, please tell me: WHO IS ZABUZA??!!"

His voice echoed around the silent clearing: Zabuza…Zabuza….

Sakura suddenly shivered slightly.

"…I….honestly don't know…" Iruka finally said. "Since it's such a big deal to you, will someone please tell us?"

"Maybe I could," a deep voice said from behind them; the audience all turned around in their seats.

A tall, well-built man not wearing a shirt stood at the edge of the clearing, wearing what looked like a gigantic chef's knife on his back, oven gloves, and pants that looked like pajamas. A slight masked figure hovered in his shadow.

"Seeing as I am Zabuza."

Naruto screamed girlishly, until Sakura hit him.

"It is I, Zabuza of the Village Hidden in the Mist, see my headband-"

Zabuza held up his Mist headband for everyone to see.

"Hey, it's the ugly dude!" A random ten-year-old burst into the clearing.

"Inari, that's not polite!" A woman, presumably the kid's mother, ran after him.

"Yo, Ugly Man," the kid, Inari, taunted, "I bet I can kick your ugly butt!"

"That 'Ugly Man' whose butt you claim you can kick tried to assassinate your grandfather!"

"But I can kick his butt!"protested Inari. "Literally, anyway."

The woman calmly picked up Inari.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Inari started running off, and I only found him now."

They left.

"Ookay," said Temari, shaking her head.

"This is why I hate little kids," grumbled Kankuro.

"DON'T BE SO CRUEL TO GOATS!!!!!" screeched Sakura. She punched Kankuro. This caused him to be knocked unconscious.

"Thanks," said Temari.

"Hmf," muttered Gaara.

"May we PLEASE explain why we're here?" demanded Zabuza. The masked figure walked out of Zabuza's shadow, taking off his mask. He, if you could say that, wore eyeshadow, had lipstick, wore a bun, and had nail polish.

"Ha!" said Asuma. "You're not manly at all! I mean, do you know a manly man who has a girl for a sidekick? No! So you and your girlfriend can leave our competition, so we can continue with our manly singing presentations." He glanced at Lee. "With a few exceptions…not including you two," he continued, glaring at the two new arrivals.

The girly looking figure walked right up to Asuma.

"I think you should know," he hissed. "I'm a boy." Then he slapped him in a manly sort of way.

Everyone except Team 7 and Zabuza gasped.

"That's why the story used the masculine pronoun 'he'," Sakura pointed out.

"HE'S A BOY!" exclaimed Choji in shock, dropping his chips. "HE'S EVEN GIRLIER THAN INO!"

Naruto was angry. How dare Choji used his line!

"HOW DARE YOU USE MY LINE!" Naruto said angrily just to prove it.

"This is boring," muttered Gaara. "I just might pull a Shikamaru and leave."

Temari, the only one who heard him, gasped. "Gaara…not trying to kill everyone?!" Then she fainted in shock.

Now Zabuza was getting annoyed. "Hey, I'm talking here! Do you WANT me to attack you with my uber-cool supersized chef's knife?!" Everyone glanced at him, either in fear or amusement.

"Does that mean 'yes'?" demanded Zabuza.

No one answered. The clearing was as quiet as Kankuro was right now.

"Okay," began Zabuza, "let me explain. First of all, due to supernatural events of the unexplained, we undied. We wouldn't have died in the first place if that dumb old man had interfered with our lives."

"'That dumb old man' was a bridgebuilder or whatever that wanted to help his village," countered Sakura.

"Not that dumb old man," said Zabuza. "The other one."

"Which one?" asked Kakashi.

"You know, the dumb old man!"

"Actually, we don't know!"

"How can you not know? It's the dumb old man!"

"WHICH OLD MAN?!?! TELL ME,OR I'LL KILL YOU, AGAIN!!"

"…" went everyone uninvolved in this argument.

"Okay, fine. Here's a hint. He's a dumb old man who apparently is just a little bit smart, because he's a billionaire."

"You mean Gatô?"

Kankuro by now had woken up.

"I heard Gatô," he said. "Who's that old man?"

"See?" said Zabuza. "Even he agrees with me! He's been unconscious, too!"

"…"

"Well, obviously, he isn't youthful," commented Lee, in his best intelligent voice. Unfortunately, this didn't even match up to Neji's mediocre intelligent voice standards.

"Intelligent voice?" said Naruto, confused.

"Okay, maybe I can explain," said Sakura. "An intelligent voice is a voice that sounds intelligent. From the information in the above paragraph, it is obvious that Neji is more experienced with this skill than Lee."

"Paragraph?" asked Naruto.

"NARUTO!!!! YOU'RE HOPELESS!!!!"

"He's also very unmanly, interfering with other people's lives," said…three guesses. If you guessed Asuma, you're right.

"So why did you come here?" asked Kurenai, trying to keep the conversation on track and failing miserably.

"Anyway, after we undied," continued the masked figure, who by now you should have figured out the identity of, "we heard about a singing competition, the one that we're at right now, in fact. Zabuza decided the competition was too girly-"

Haku glared at Zabuza.

"Hey!" Asuma yelled. "I'M manly, but I let the show go on! Besides, my cell isn't girly-"

"Actually, it is," said Kurenai. "Shikamaru, who might be a little bit manly, a hyper girl, and someone who's eating every single moment of the day!"

"My men are manly!" said Guy. "And youthful!"

"Hey!" yelled Tenten.

"Anyway," interrupted Haku, "I found no problems with your show, so I decided to become a late entry."

"Oh, yay, more singing," Gaara muttered darkly. He was currently the only conscious judge.

Kurenai glared at him.

"Okay," she said. "We can let Haku go next."

Silence followed.

"But…they're evil!" protested Naruto.

"Be quiet, Naruto!" hissed Kakashi.

"Ha!" said Guy gleefully. "My cell is always quiet, especially Neji! 52-51!"

"…" went Neji.

"Don't you remember Lee's happy dance when he was the only one that mastered the Lotus?"

"Oh. Right. 52-52."

"CAN WE CONTINUE THE SHOW ALREADY?!?!?!?!??!"

Guy became quiet. Kakashi became absorbed in the fourth installment of his favorite book series.

"So anyway," interrupted Iruka, "Haku will be singing next!"

**

Yay Haku!


	7. Nail Polish is so a Color!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. Be thankful.

**

**CHAPTER 7: Nail Polish is so a Color!**

"Save the effort," hissed Gaara threateningly. "You're going to get eliminated anyway."

"Quiet!" said Kurenai.

Temari was slowly waking up.

"W-who's there? And where's Shikamaru?"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHERE HE IS!!!" screeched Ino."HE'S OUT IN THE FOREST SOMEWHERE STARING AT CLOUDS!!!!"

"Right!" said Temari. "I remember now! He forfeited!"

Kankuro was also awake by now.

"Is this song about PUPPETS!?!?!????!!?!??" he asked hopefully.

"I'm Haku," announced Haku quietly, "and I will be singing 'In my Head' by Anna Nalick."

"I love her songs!" gasped Temari.

In the background, soft music started.

"Under the weight of your wings," sung Haku in a girl's voice. "You are a god and whatever I want you to be and I wonder if truly you are really as beautiful as I believe."

"I see how this relates to Haku!" snickered Naruto.

"NARUTO!" screamed Iruka. "IF YOU DON'T QUIET DOWN THIS SECOND, I'M PULLING YOU FROM THE SHOW!!!!"

"But I have to sing my song that's about being Hokage!" whined Naruto.

"The 'I Wanna Be Hokage' song?" asked Kakashi.

"Noooooooooooooooooo! I can't tell you what it is, because that would ruin the surprise!"

"And I can't tell you my youthful song, because that would ruin its youthfulness!" Guess who said that.

"In my head," continued Haku, meanwhile, "your voice, you've got all that I need and this make believe will get me through another lonely night."

In the brief interlude, he asked Sakura, "Is Naruto like this for every song?"

"So far?" replied Sakura. "Pretty much."

Lee and Naruto continued their discussion about the secretiveness of their songs as Haku continued singing.

"Under the weight of your wings should ever we meet on your side of your stereo I will pretend I know not of your thoughts, and even the way that they mirror my own-"

"There's a second reason this is Haku's song," giggled Naruto. "The word 'mirror'!"

"Yes, but not in the correct form," muttered Kakashi. He was careful not to say this too loud, as this would have resulted in another lengthy grammar discussion.

"-I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go."

Ignoring Naruto and Lee, Haku finished the song with no further interruptions. In the same shy manner as his soft but clear singing, he gave a small bow and glided toward the judges' table.

"Uh, wait, that's it?" Naruto looked up from his staring contest against Lee.

"Yes! I win!" Lee exclaimed joyfully, at the same time Guy yelled, "53-52!! Take that!"

"Hn," commented Kakashi, immersed in his book. The rest of the crowd began clapping, and Lee and Guy, mistaking the applause for them, bowed.

Sakura hit Lee on the head. "You idiot! We're cheering for Haku!"

"Sakura-chan hates me…" Lee whimpered, sinking to the ground in sadness.

Guy slumped. "53-53."

Up on stage, the judges turned to Haku.

"Your singing was beautiful," Temari gushed.

"Yeah, it was actually okay, though it wasn't about puppets," said Kankuro.

"You are not a boy," Gaara stated calmly.

"GAARA!" screamed Temari.

"Yes, I am," Haku protested calmly.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?" Kankuro sweatdropped, whirling back around to face Haku. He had been unconscious during the I'm-Actually-A-Boy discussion. "NO WAY! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE NOW!"

Haku smiled mysteriously and flounced off the stage.

"O-okay," Iruka said, returning to center stage. "Our next contestant will be…" He reached into the Hokage's hat.

"Tenten."

Eagerly she skipped onstage.

"Tenten, use the power of your YOUTH to win!" screamed Guy.

"Yeah, Tenten!" yelled Lee.

"…" went Neji again.

"What will you be singing?" asked Temari.

"Is it about-"

"No. I'm sorry, but I'm not singing about puppets."

"So, it's about pink?" asked Naruto, remembering Tenten's favorite colour of clothes.

"Pink puppets?"

"I already said that IT'S NOT ABOUT PUPPETS!"

"Yeah! It's about youthfulness!" said the younger person that wore green spandex. "No, wait, that's my song."

"I have a question," Sakura said, raising her hand. She pointed to Guy and Lee. "ARE THEY RELATED!?!??!?!?!?"

"How come no one likes puppets?"

"No one's as obsessed with them as you."

"Well, some people could at least thank us for judging this show. I mean, who would they turn to if we weren't there? Someone could thank us by singing about puppets!"

Temari shook her head in fusteration. Why did she bother trying to talk sense into him?

"THIS SHOW WAS NOT INTENDED TO BE A DISCUSSION ABOUT PUPPETS!!!!!!!!!" growled Kurenai.

"Wait!" cried Tenten. "I haven't even told you what I'm singing yet!"

"Bwahahaha!" laughed Lee in a shameful inpersonation of evil laughter. "Only Guy, Neji, and myself know what Tenten is about to sing! Well, Tenten knows, too, because she's the one singing."

"No, I don't," Neji finally spoke up to no one in particular. "I purged that training session from my memory."

"If you don't let me tell you what I'm singing," threatened Tenten, "I won't sing at all!"

The crowd gasped.

"But…" cried Lee, "we need all our team to pass so we'll have more chance to win with our youth!"

Guy ran over to Lee, who was crying loudly.

"Lee," he comforted the tearful youth. That word alone made Lee much happier.

"You have to understand. Tenten's young. Mistakes and youth go hand in hand. Also, you need to learn that sometimes a mission will rest firmly on your shoulders and no one else's. Just as if Neji, Tenten and I were captured on a mission and you had to rescue us-"

Lee was happy at the thought of rescuing his rival, not vice versa.

"-if Neji and Tenten are eliminated this round, you have to go on and avenge them with the power of youthfulness!"

Neji was staring at this moment of sentimentality in shocked silence.

After Lee stopped crying, Tenten spoke up.

"_Now_ can – sorry, _may_ I say just what song I'm singing?"

The crowd nodded in agreement.

"Okay, before that long, unexpected delay in the form of a discussion about puppets that turned into a Lee/Guy moment, I started to indroduce my song. Now I can finally finish. I'm singing 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson."

Temari roared in approval. Kankuro nodded. Gaara was himself.

"Gaara couldn't sing that song, because his eyes are green," said Kankuro.

"Excuse me," hissed Gaara, "but you're my brother, and you don't know my eyes are blue."

"A very teal blue?" pleaded Kankuro hopefully.

"No, it's a pale blue. By the way, my hair is red," continued Gaara.

"Well, my puppet has brown hair!" said Kankuro proudly.

"Puppets, puppets, puppets," muttered Gaara.

"After another random delay about eye and hair colours, CAN I SING NOW?!??!?" demanded Tenten.

No one interrupted her this time.

"Seems like just yesterday," Tenten began, "you were a part of me. I used to stand so tall; I used to be so strong. Your arms around me tight; everything, it felt so right, unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong. Now I can't breathe. No, I can't sleep. I'm barely hanging on…"

She raised her voice, "Here I am, once again, I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes."

Naruto gasped. "Hey, Tenten HAS hazel eyes!"

"You JUST noticed?" growled Kiba from two seats down.

"I'm surprised he knows what 'hazel' means," muttered Sasuke.

"Yeah, I did," Naruto defended, "What, who looks closely at people's eyes?!"

"I know everyone's eye color," Sakura said smartly, glancing at Sasuke with a blush. "I mean, Naruto has blue eyes. I have sea-green eyes. Sasuke…" Her blush deepened. "…has onyx eyes."

"So? Those are your teammates," Kiba spat. "Do you know anyone else?"

"Then what color are your teamates' eyes?" challenged Sakura.

"Hinata, pale purple. Me, black. Akamaru has black eyes."

"Akamaru is your teammate?"

Kiba and Akamaru growled at Sakura, who hastily put up her hands in defense. "Okay, okay! Sorry! But what about Shino?"

Kiba sweatdropped. "Uh…no one's sure what color his eyes are because he never takes his glasses off."

"Fine!" Sakura snapped.

"Oh! What about Team Ten?" Naruto butted in.

"Ino-"

"Blue-"

"Shikamaru-"

"Black-"

"Choji-"

"Also black," Sakura and Kiba finished together.

"Can you two be quiet?!" fumed Lee. "I'm trying to listen to Tenten!"

Sakura and Kiba exchanged fierce glances. "NO!"

"Team Guy," suggested Kiba. "Tenten-"

"Hazel," answered Sakura.

"Lee, black. And Neji…"

"The color of my nail polish," Sakura said calmly.

Kiba's eye twitched. "What?"

"The purple that was supposed to be purple but actually turned out to be really pale, so it reminded me of Neji's eyes," Sakura explained, utterly confusing Naruto and Kiba. Akamaru, of course, understood perfectly.

"Arf!"

"Hey, don't side with her!" growled Kiba. "Nail polish is not a color! You lose!"

"It is so a color!" yelled Sakura.

"SHUT UP!" screeched Lee.

"Fine," snarled Kiba. "One last challenge…" He glanced around the clearing.

"Haku!" Naruto said happily.

"Hakuhasbrowneyes," Sakura said speedily as Haku came to say hi to Naruto.

"Hey, that's not fair!" complained Kiba. "I didn't even know who he was!"

"You have a very cute dog," commented Haku.

"Arf!"

"Here I am, once again, I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside, but you won't get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes," Tenten finished to a round of wild applause. Kiba and Sakura looked up in surprise.

Tenten walked over to the judges' table.

"Wow, you have such a nice voice," commented Temari.

Kankuro yawned. "Yeah, it was okay."

Both Tenten and Temari glared daggers at him.

Gaara was staring off into space.

"What are _their_ eye colors?" demanded Kiba.

"Enough with the eye color thing!" said Lee. "Who cares about eye color, anyway?"

"Gaara's eye color is obvious because he said it-"

"ENOUGH!" yelled Lee.

"Okay," announced Iruka. "The next contestant is-"

Naruto, sensing a moment of opportunity, created several doppel-gangers. Approximately ten doppel-gangers pounced on Iruka in a gigantic bear hug. The other one stole Iruka's hat.

Now what was the real Naruto doing all this time?

He was suffering the consequences of drinking expired milk (a.k.a. he was in the restroom).

**

Please review!

Haku - 'In My Head' by Anna Nalick

Tenten - 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson

Yeah, Neko actually owns that nailpolish mentioned above :P It's so pretty though...


	8. Ino vs Sakura!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We no own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 8: Ino vs. Sakura!**

A few minutes later, Naruto had finished his business. Exiting the bathroom stall, he went back to the training ground. His doppelganger ran up to him and handed him the Hokage-ish hat.

"Thank you!" giggled Naruto. All the doppelgangers went POOF!

Gleefully he put on the hat. "Yaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm Hokage! I'm going to be a-oops, I'm not supposed to be singing that yet."

By this time, all of the name slips had fallen out of the hat. Iruka quickly ran over and picked up all of the little paper slips.

*

Meanwhile, the third Hokage was looking into his crystal ball of crystal ball-ness.

"It looks like Naruto is adding his usual cup of mischief to the show," he said. "Hmm. Not as good as a cuppa tea."

The third Hokage sat, lost in thought.

"I better stop Naruto before this gets out of hand."

*

"Give that back, Naruto!" said Iruka.

"No way! The hat is mine! All mine! This is my lucky day! The only thing that could make it better is a bowl of ramen! Make that 1000000 bowls of ramen!"

Everyone stared at him.

"How troublesome," muttered Shikamaru. After staring at clouds, he had returned to the training ground.

"Uhh, that was a HINT!" hissed Naruto. "Let me rephrase that. Mission some number, D-rank: Buy 1000000 bowls of ramen for the Hokage!"

"For the last time, YOU'RE NOT HOKAGE!!!!" screamed Iruka.

"Especially since I am," murmured a voice from the shadows.

The crowd gasped.

"The third Hokage!" said Kurenai.

"Give me back my hat," demanded the Hokage.

Naruto gave up and took off the hat.

Iruka pulled a slip of paper from his hand.

"Okay, Yamanaka Ino! You're up!"

"Let's go, Team 10!" shouted Ino.

All she got were some stares, the crunching of chips, and a mutter of "This is too troublesome."

"Try all you want!" challenged Sakura. "You won't beat me!"

Ino only smiled evilly. She had been expecting this. Even if Sasuke favored Sakura, one look at her performance and he would know what a fool Sakura was, and would immediately insist upon a change of teammates.

"I don't want to say what I'm singing," said Ino.

"So…it's secretly about puppets?!??!" asked Kankuro.

"I want a certain person with a big forehead to come up with me."

"INO, YOU UGLY, SMELLY PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Sakura. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!"

"Go, Sakura!" said Naruto.

"No killing people," reminded Iruka.

Music was starting in the background.

"Your fallen tears have called to me-" sang Ino.

"I DON'T CRY!" screeched Sakura. "YOU'RE THE CRYBABY!!!!"

"-so here comes my sweet remedy-"

"MORE LIKE TAKING OVER MY BODY!"

"-I know what every princess needs-"

_"Sasuke,"_ both girls thought at the same time.

"-for her to live life happily!"

"A youthful prince, like me!" said Lee.

"Food," said Choji.

"N-n-naruto!" stammered Hinata.

"With! Just! A! Wave of my magic wand-"

"Which you don't have-"

Shikamaru threw Ino a stick he found while staring at clouds.

"-my troubles will soon be gone!-What can you say now, Sakura?-With a flick of the wrist and just a flash I'll land a prince with a ton of cash!"

She had intended this line for Sasuke, but Lee came onstage. She pushed him off.

"A high-priced dress made by mice no less!"

"Why not puppets?" asked Kankuro.

"I guess they could…" said Temari.

Two of Kankuro's puppets jumped onstage and began dancing, controlled by chakra cords.

Ino missed her next line because she was screaming girlishly.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! FREAKY PUPPETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kankuro sung the next line.

"Confide in your very own furniture friends!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! FREAKY PUPPET 'FURNITURE FRIENDS'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Better than 'Happy Tree Friends'," commented Kiba, "worse than Akamaru. Nothing measures up to Akamaru!"

"Arf!" (That's right!)

"At least it's not us this time," thought Shikamaru. When Ino rehearsed the song, she always used her teammates as the 'furniture friends'.

"Who'll help you set a new fashion trend!" continued Sakura hyperly.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! FREAKY PUPPET 'FURNITURE FRIENDS' SETTING A NEW FASHION TREND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Quickly Ino sang the next line.

"I'llbefancyI'llbegreat! ThekindofgalSasukewoulddate! He'llwritemynameonthebathroomwall!"

"For happy ever after give Sakura a call!" cried Lee.

"NOOOOOOOO!!! MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-A human carriage to ride in style!"

Choji rolled onstage.

"Sexy man-boy chauffeur Sasuke!"

_Why not me?_ thought Lee sadly.

"I can be chauffeur!" Naruto giggled, jumping onstage. He was immediately pushed off.

"Vanish my blemishes, tooth decay - for you, Sakura! - cellulite thighs will fade away! A hool and a hey! I'll have a Bichon Frise!"

Ino grabbed Akamaru. The dog immediately began whining.

"GIVE HIM BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Kiba.

"Nip and tuck, here and there," sang Ino as she mused with Sakura's hair, holding on to Akamaru all the while, "to land that prince with the really round hair!"

"Oh, Sakura," Lee said dreamily.

"Lipstick, liners, shadow, blush! To lose that prince with the sexy tush!"

"THOSE AREN'T THE WORDS, YOU SNORTING PIG!!!!!!! AND STOP MUSING MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Lucky day, hunk buffet! Me and Sasuke will take a roll in the hay! I will swoon on the moon with Sasuke to this tune! You'll be sad, I'll be fab, Sasuke has rock-hard abs!"

Ino pulled out a box that said: "Cheese Soufflé Café". She opened it. While she was occupied, Akamaru escaped.

"Cheese soufflé!" Choji shouted (he was still on the stage). He ate it all.

"Have a not-so-nice day, Sakura! I'll have some chicken fricassee!"

Choji ate that, too.

"Nip and tuck, here and there, to land that prince with the really round hair! Lipstick, liner!"

The song ended.

"Thank you _very_ much, Ino," said Sasuke, "but I don't need all that!"

"GASP!" shouted the crowd.

"Fine," said Ino. "Be that way."

"Oh-kaaay," said Temari.

"YOU USED MY PUPPETS IN YOUR SONG!!!!" gasped Kankuro. "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He fainted from shock and joy.

"…" muttered Gaara.

"That's the best comment I heard you say all day!" gasped Temari. For the second time that night, she fainted.

"I promise I'll protect you from hyper fangirls who are more interested in Sasuke than training," said Kiba to Akamaru. "I promise!"

"Iruka-sensei," asked Sakura, "what are we going to do for a hat?"

Iruka was lost in thought.

"We could use Gaara's gourd…" suggested Naruto.

Gaara's response was quick.

**"No."**

"This is too troublesome," muttered Shikamaru.

"I'm hungry!" shouted Naruto. "I want 10 bowls of ramen to be yummy yummy in my tummy! At least!"

Iruka then took Naruto to the ramen stand. Secretly Iruka took one of the bowls and washed it thoroughly.

When they got back, no one had yet decided on a new concept for the Hokage's hat.

"Let's put them in Lee's hair," suggested Kiba.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S MY KEY TO ETERNAL YOUTHFULNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"We're back! I have a bowl of ramen for name drawing, too!"

In a few minutes, Iruka had drawn a name from the bowl.

"Kiba's up next."

"Booyah!" cried Kiba. "We're gonna _ace_ this contest, aren't we, Akamaru?"

"Arf!" barked Akamaru.

"Aw man," thought Lee to himself. "If I'm not up soon, Sakura's going to make fun of my big eyebrows!"

"Who let the dogs out?" demanded Kiba.

No one answered.

"That's the title of the song!"

"I could guess," muttered Shikamaru.

"It's by the Baha Men!" said Kiba.

The song began. Akamaru was running around in circles and doing backflips.

"Who let the dogs out?"

"Woof! Woof woof woof!"

"Who let the dogs out?"

"Woof! Woof woof woof!"

Kankuro was waking up.

"Uhhggh. Who let the dogs out?"

"That's the spirit!" shouted Kiba.

"Woof! Woof woof woof!"

"Who let the dogs out?"

Now Kiba started singing. He wasn't half bad, actually, apart from his obsession with strange songs.

"Now the party was nice, the party was jumping!"

Akamaru barked.

"And everybody having a ball!"

"Arf! Arf!"

"I tell the fellas "Start the name callin'"!"

"Arf! Arf!"

"And the girls report to the call, the poor dog show down."

The song went back to the chorus (Who let the dogs out?).

By the end of the song, Kiba and Akamaru were using several of their ninja techniques. At one point, Naruto had turned into Akamaru and tried to mess up Kiba's singing by biting him. Before he could do this, Sakura had immediately pulled Naruto back.

Temari was still unconscious.

"If Naruto could come in," said Kankuro, "so could a dancing puppet. Other than that, it was a pretty good song."

"Hmmf," muttered Gaara. "I'm beginning to know how Shikamaru feels."

"Next up is…" Iruka was beginning to draw a name out of the bowl of ramen.

"STOP!" screamed Naruto hyperly. "YOU NEED THE CHOPSTICKS!!!!!!!!!!"

He handed Iruka a pair of chopsticks.

"…" went Iruka.

Reluctantly he used the chopsticks to take a name out of the bowl.

"This should be interesting."

"Is it ME?!??!?!?!??!?!? FINALLY?!?!??!?!?!? I CAN SING MY SONG ABOUT BEING HOKAGE?!??!?!?!??!???!?" No dialog tag necessary.

"What about my song about youthfulness?"

"So long as it's not me," said Choji. "I just started a whole new chip bag."

"Your name's on this slip, Choji."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!"

There was a shocked silence after these words.

"I'm singing 'I Like to Move It'."

"Go, fatto!" shouted Naruto.

This was not a good thing to say.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You're too full of chips to sing, Mr. Fat," giggled Naruto.

"I ALREADY SAID I'M NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M PLEASANTLY PLUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Choji began singing.

"I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it! You like to…"

Choji expanded.

"MOVE IT!"

In place of the background music, Choji rolled around on the stage.

He continued singing, but was distracted and didn't see where he was going. He accidentally crashed into a tree. This caused him to return to his normal state.

"Uuugggghhh," he moaned.

"How troublesome," said Shikamaru a little too loudly.

"Hey! You came back!" shrieked Ino. "Where were you for the chauffeur line?"

"Nowhere," replied Shikamaru.

"You missed Choji crashing into a tree," giggled Naruto.

Meanwhile, Asuma and Kurenai had gone to revive the rather dizzy Choji.

"Well, I suppose that's it for his song…" commented Iruka. "Judges?"

Temari was slowly waking. "Uhh…what happened?"

Kankuro considered his reply. "Well, the singing was okay…his technique kinda sucked."

"I agree," said Gaara.

"So who's next, Iruka-sensei?" demanded Naruto. "It must be me! I can't wait to sing my brilliant song about-"

"WE KNOW!" screamed everyone else.

Iruka calmly pulled a name from the bowl. "Next up is…Hyuga Hinata."

The crowd turned to look at the shy girl. Hinata had turned bright red.

"Oh…" she whispered. Then she fainted.

**

Ino - 'Fairy Godmother Song' from Shrek 2

Kiba - 'Who Let The Dogs Out' by Baha Men

Choji - 'I Like To Move It' from Madagascar

Please review!


	9. Clash of the Hyuga!

**The Ulitimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 9: Clash of the Hyuga!**

"Hinata!" Kiba vaulted over his seat to crouch beside her. Gently he shook Hinata's shoulder. "Wake up!"

Kurenai drifted near her students, worried. Hinata had to find her courage…

Pale eyes opened and slowly focused on Kiba's face. "…uh?"

"It's your turn," he reminded her.

"Oh." Hinata fidgeted nervously. "Right."

Shakily she made her way toward the stage.

"She gonna be all right?" Kiba asked.

Kurenai smiled encouragingly. "She will be."

*

Hinata reached the microphone and picked it up. "Um…hi," she mumbled, hiding behind her coat collar. "I-I'll be singing 'H-Hopelessly D-devoted to You b-by O-O-Olivia Newton-John."

Her eyes sought out her teammates, who all gave smiles of encouragement. Kiba yelled, "Go, Hinata!"

Embarrassed, she glanced away. The slow, mournful music began.

"Guess mine is not the first heart broken," she began, taking a shaky breath. "My eyes…are not the first to cry." She kept her eyes focused on the mike. "Not the first to know there's just no getting over you…"

"I know I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you…but baby, can't you see, there's nothing else for me to do…I'm hopelessly devoted to you."

Closing her eyes, Hinata forced herself to forget that there was an entire crowd of her peers looking on. Imagining that she was all alone, she stood taller and sang out, "But now, there's nowhere to hide since you pushed my love aside. I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you, ooh, I'm hopelessly devoted to you." She took a breath, sighing, "Hopelessly devoted to you."

The audience, for once, was not talking, rapt at Hinata's beautiful voice. No one had ever heard her speak so clearly without stuttering before. Naruto thought Hinata looked rather pretty under the spotlight.

Once Hinata had finished the song, she took a shuddering breath and mumbled, "Thank you."

Wandering over to the judges' table, she handed the microphone to Temari.

"Wow…I don't know what to say," smiled the older kunoichi. "That was lovely."

"Th-thanks," blushed Hinata.

Kankuro agreed. "You should sing more often."

"O-okay."

Gaara stared off into space for a moment. "…You suck."

Hinata inhaled sharply, tears stinging her eyes. Temari and Kankuro glared at their brother.

"Gaara! Don't be so mean!" hissed Temari.

"…Whatever."

Kurenai hustled Hinata off the stage, murmuring, "You did wonderfully."

"Thank you, sensei," she whispered, blinking back tears.

"So!" Iruka took the stage. "Before I call the next name, I'd like to congratulate Hinata on her performance. I know it must have been hard for you to come onstage in front of all of us." He smiled kindly at her; having taught all the rookies at the academy, he knew them well. Hinata smiled timidly back.

"And now…let's have Hyuga Neji!"

Neji sighed before heading onstage.

"I really don't want to be here," he addressed the crowd. "My team forced me into this. I hate singing."

"Good," said Gaara. "I hate it, too."

"However," Neji paused dramatically, "I must sing. People think I'm a genius…I can't let them down."

As the audience mulled over this strange comment, the music began.

"I'm singing 'The Reason' by Hoobastank."

He began singing.

"I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning; I never meant to do those things to you-"

"I never knew he could sing," commented Naruto.

"-and so I have to say before I go that I just want to you know. I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you."

"Who's he talking about?" asked Sakura.

"I have no idea," replied Sasuke.

"If Sakura is to love me," thought Lee, "I must sing better than my rival, Neji!"

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's something I must live with every day, and all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away and be the one who catches all your tears."

Neji began doing his 8 Trigams Heavenly Spin technique.

"That's why I need you to hear, I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new, and the reason is you, and the reason is you, and the reason is you, and the reason is you!"

There was applause at the end of the song. Lee glowered with jealously.

"I must impress Sakura!"

"Neji has a secret admirer!" giggled Naruto. Sakura immediately punched him into unconsciousness.

"Okay," said Iruka, "the judges?"

"That was an awesome song!" praised Temari.

"Good singing," said Kankuro, "and good jutsu control. Nothing like Choji's song. You know, you look a lot like your sister."

"Sister?" asked Neji. "I have a sister?"

"Don't you know? Hinata, who went right before you."

"HINATA IS NOT MY SISTER!" yelled Neji. "WE'RE COUSINS, OKAY?"

"I wondered why you had the same last name."

"He sucks," muttered Gaara.

"Next is…" Iruka pulled a name out of the bowl.

"Sakura."

Sakura grinned. She would show Ino!

She climbed onstage.

"I'm singing 'Little Voice' by Hilary Duff. And no, it's not about puppets."

"Awwwwwwwwww," said…you guess.

Random funky music began; Sakura struck a pose with the microphone.

"I won't tell you what I'm thinking 'cause it's not the same thing you're thinking, too. You could say I've got a best friend and she's always telling me what to do." Here she glared at Ino.

"She's out of sight but easy to find…she's in the front of my mind!" Inner Sakura was cheering as Sakura sang louder. "A little voice in my head won't let me forget. A little voice in my head is never misled. All of this noise is what keeps me from making a mess. A little voice in my head just won't let me get with you."

Inner Sakura was punching her fists at Ino.

"When I see you, I admit, I start to lose my grip and all of my cool. You smell so sweet just like my perfume."

Lee jumped onstage. This did not bade well for him. Once again, he was pushed off the stage.

"What have you been doing since I left you? You're always there in my thoughts, but that doesn't mean that it's on!"

Naruto hopefully jumped onstage. See what happened to Lee, only with more force.

For the last verse, Sakura was running all over the stage, singing at the top of her lungs.

When the final note was played, she dramatically collapsed.

"Oh my!" Temari gasped, half-rising from her chair. "Is she all right?"

"…" said Gaara, unaffected.

Sakura jumped up. "Ha! I'm okay!"

Temari sweatdropped. "Well…that was pretty good."

"Is the little voice referring to a puppet?" asked Kankuro.

"You suck," hissed Gaara.

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Naruto.

"Y-y-you ca-can't s-s-s-s-say th-th-that!" cried Lee, taking forever to get the words out.

"You're my hero," said Ino, smiling at Gaara.

Lee punched her.

"OOOOOOOOOOwwwwwww," moaned Ino. "As far as I know, guys with freaky eyelashes punching me wasn't part of my dream competition."

Iruka prepared to pick another slip.

"Oh! It'll be my turn next!" gasped Naruto.

"I've waited this long!" sulked Lee. "If it were up to me, I'd rather be the final act!"

Iruka picked up a slip.

"Next up is…"

**

Hinata - 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' by Olivia Newton-John (from Grease)

Neji - 'The Reason' by Hoobastank

Sakura - 'Little Voice' by Hilary Duff (sorry, it fit :P)

Lee or Naruto? Whoever's next is sure to have an *ahem* interesting song... Please review!


	10. Youthful Freak vs Hokage Wannabe!

**The Ultimate Konoha Idol!**

By Tru and Neko

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

**

**CHAPTER 10: Youthful Freak vs. Hokage Wannabe!**

"Next up is…"

_I hope Naruto is next!_ thought Hinata hopefully.

"…Rock Lee."

"Okay! You caught me!" shouted Lee. He swiftly climbed onstage. At the top, he fell down.

"As soon as I said I wanted to be last, I was thwarted! It's a natural law! You can throw a stone at a telephone pole time and again and never hit it…but the minute you aim to miss, you end up hitting the thing dead center. I didn't really want to be the final act anyway!"

"Go, my beloved protégé!"

"Don't keep me waiting," dared Gaara.

"I'm singing a very youthful song!" said Lee.

"We could guess," muttered Naruto.

The music started.

"I know this song!" gasped Kankuro.

"Young man, there's no need to feel down, I said young man, pick yourself off the ground, I said young man, 'cause you're in a new town, there's no need to feel unhappy. Young man, there's a place you can go, I said young man, when you're short on your dough, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find many ways to have a good time!"

"Go, Lee!" shouted Sakura.

Lee threw his hands in the air, forming the letter 'Y'.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! They have everything for you men to enjoy! You can hang out with all the boys! Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! You can get yourself cleaned! You can have a good meal! You can do whatever you feel!"

To impress Sakura, Lee decided to perform the forward Lotus on a tree. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and Lee stubbed his foot.

Guy leaped onstage, and a Lee/Guy moment inevitably happened. Guy gave a lecture about mistakes, youth, and why you don't use the Lotus on trees.

This took up a whole verse. Lee's punishment for using the Lotus (or trying to) without permission was to run 500 laps. Lee did this while singing.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! They have everything for you men to enjoy! You can hang out with all the boys! Y.M.C.A! It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A! You can get yourself cleaned! You can have a good meal! You can do whatever you feel!"

It took the rest of the song for Lee to do his laps. At the end, he sang:

"And I would run 500 laps, and I would run 500 more just to be the man who ran 1000 laps to fall down at your door!"

"…" said Neji.

"I think he's talking to you, Sakura!" giggled Naruto. "But don't worry. I'll protect you from old Bushy Brows!"

Sakura was wondering if she would prefer Naruto or Lee. The youthful freak with creepy eyebrows, or the idiot Hokage-wannabe. She chose Lee.

"SHUT UP!" she screeched, whacking Naruto upside the head.

"Ow!" he yelped.

Before a full-scale battle could commence, Iruka called the last name.

"Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Finally! It's my turn! I'll show you all my mad singing skills!"

"Hey!" cried Temari. "We didn't judge yet!"

"He sucks," said Gaara.

"I can't argue with you on that," agreed Kankuro.

"Well…" said Temari. "The Lotus thing sucked."

There was the third Lee/Guy moment that day when Lee began crying over the fact that all three judges had said that he sucked.

"Okay, MY TURN!" shouted Naruto.

He began doing a funky dance to the African music that had started.

"I'm gonna be a mighty Hokage, so enemies beware!"

The Third Hokage jumped in.

"Well, I've never seen a Hokage with quite so little hair!" He shook his head.

"Speak for yourself, old man!–I'm gonna be the main event, like no Hokage was before! I'm brushing up on looking down, I'm working on my ROAR!"

At this, Naruto tackled the Hokage.

"The lad's certainly got some energy," noted Kakashi.

"Thus far, a rather…uninspiring thing," gasped the Hokage as soon as he managed to get up into a sitting position. He sung his line, then he fell back down.

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE!"

"You've rather a long way to go, young master, if you think-!"

Konohamaru and his little friends ran onstage.

"No one saying do this!" Konohamaru shouted.

"Now when I said that-" started the Hokage.

"No one saying be there!" Moegi said.

"What I meant was-"

"No one saying STOP THAT!" Konohamaru overrode him hyperly.

"What you don't realize-"

"No one saying see here!" sang Moegi.

"Now SEE HERE!"

"Free to run around all day!" sang Konohamaru, easily running out of his grandpa's grasp. Giggling, he, the other little kids, and Naruto raced in circles around the Hokage.

"Well, that's definitely out-"

"Free to do it all my way!" Naruto ran to center stage, dancing with his arms in the air.

Iruka climbed onstage to stand beside Naruto. "I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart-to-heart!"

Naruto pushed him aside. "Hokages don't need advice from little shinobi for a start!" he sang girlishly. "Except over a bowl of ramen."

"If this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out! Out of service, out of Konoha, I wouldn't hang about! This child is getting wildly out of wing…"

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE!" Giddily Naruto hopped around the stage. An interlude in the song began. Kankuro was climbing onstage with all his puppets.

"But you said you'd play ninja with us, boss!" protested Konohamaru.

"Hokages don't need advice from little kids for another start!-Everybody look left!"

He used his Sexy Jutsu.

"Everybody look right," he sang (in a girly voice), like nothing happened.

He transformed back.

"Everywhere you look I stand in spotlight!"

"Not yet!" muttered the Hokage.

"Let every creature go for broke and sing! Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing! It's going to be Hokage Naruto's finest fling!" all three little kids, Kankuro, and the puppets sang.

"Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE! Oh I just can't wait to be HOKAGE! Oh I just can't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait to be HOKAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto yelled.

BOOM!

That was Naruto punching Sasuke while Naruto jumped into the audience, expecting to be caught by fangirls (coughcoughSakuracoughcough), but Sakura was catching Sasuke, and Naruto was left to fall on an empty chair.

"Owww," he groaned.

"Oww," moaned a small voice under him. It turned out the chair was not empty, after all; he had fallen on top of Hinata!

"Sorry, Hinata!" apologized Naruto. He leapt off the chair.

Hinata turned red in the face.

"What's happening?" asked Naruto. "You're all red, and you look like you're going to faint!"

Hinata did faint.

"So…" said Temari, "I guess we should judge now. I thought it was a pretty lively song."

"You kept my puppets in peace!" gasped Kankuro happily. "Only criticism is that there were too many little kids in it."

"Hey!" shouted Konohamaru.

"Boring," hissed Gaara. "If it wasn't for the fact that you were shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs, I would have fallen asleep."

Naruto was ANGRY.

"WHEN I'M HOKAGE, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU TREATED ME WITH MORE RESPECT!!!!!"

"Right, and Kankuro's going to destroy puppets and become obsessed with Barbie."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??!?!?!?!??!! I HATE BARBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Maybe…puppet obsession is just another really long stage for Kankuro?" suggested Temari.

Iruka intervened. "All right, all right, that's enough. Now, I believe everyone's finished singing. It's time for the final decision. Eight of our twelve – Shikamaru having forfeited and Haku joined – contestants will go on to the next round! Let's hear it for each of them and their bravery of coming up here to sing for us!

"Aburame Shino with 'I Am A Rock'!

"Uchiha Sasuke with 'Move Along'!"

The fangirls went wild.

"Nara Shikamaru with '59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy)'!

"Haku…uh, not sure what your last name is…with 'In My Head'!

"Tenten with 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'!

"Yamanaka Ino with 'Fairy Godmother Song'!

"Inuzuka Kiba – and Akamaru – with 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'!

"Akimichi Choji with 'I Like to Move It'!

"Hyuga Hinata with 'Hopelessly Devoted to You'!

"Hyuga Neji with 'The Reason'!

"Haruno Sakura with 'Little Voice'!

"Rock Lee singing 'Y.M.C.A.'!

"And last but not least, Uzumaki Naruto with 'I Just Can't Wait to be King', or Hokage in his case."

Iruka waited for the applause to quiet before he continued, "Now, judges, we need your final decision."

Temari and Kankuro glanced at each other while Gaara stared coolly at Iruka. "Uh, huddle," Temari said, leaning toward her brothers. The judges conferred in whispered tones for a few minutes (Gaara didn't say much). Eventually Temari emerged.

"All right, we've got our eight candidates!" she chirped.

To be continued...

**

Who will go on, and who will stay behind? :P Find out next time on The Ultimate Konoha Idol!


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